20.07.15 Eleven Years Later...

Wow. I somehow stumbled onto my maiden post as an up and coming influential blogger. It was to be my only post. I wrote it 11 1/2 years ago. It's funny how much of what I wrote then rings true now in spite of all the changes since that first post.

It was in the fall of the same year I started the blog that I met Danny. I married him six years later. Now, short of our fifth year wedding anniversary, we aren't living together, trying to decide what we want to do with the relationship. The loneliness I felt being alone 11 years ago is now being experienced as relief. I want to live alone. I want to be selfish and do what I want, when I want, how I want. I'm working on that, but right now, having lived in hell for the most part for the last couple of years, I just feel relief. I feel serenity. Yes, I'm sober now and working actively on achieving serenity. I worked parttime, then retired last year and took care of Mom. I lost her in February so there is a large void where she used to exist in my life. But with the pandemic still raging, my life in retirement, my life of travel and being a social butterfly or living on a remote island has been put on hold. Indefinitely.

And now I'm living alone again. Just the one dog, Ellie May, who came from my next-door neighbors to live with me and now, thankfully, to keep me company.

So what ever happened to that list of 10 ways to recreate my life? I wish I'd written them then because I don't know what they are now. But what I can do is work on a new list for recreating my life because I'm intrigued with that idea. I have changed my life quite a bit over the last two years. And not just retiring, losing my mom and separating from Danny. It's losing 50+ pounds and exercising daily and most important of all, becoming a member of AA.

So maybe the first two items on my list should be:

1. Be as Healthy as You Can. Move. Watch what you eat. Do just a little every day, then a little bit more the next day or the next week, but just do it. Cut back. Get up more. Small chunks.

2. Quit Drinking. Duh. It makes you stupid when you become a regular drinker. It's a waste of money, calories and brain power. It results in nothing good at all.

Maybe I'll be back in another 11 years to list the other eight items on the list.